Because of new climate and environmental laws, there will be no Christmas this year.
It seems one Kris Kringle, a.k.a Santa Claus, has been grounded due to advocating genocide and violation of carbon standards.
It seems that our government apprehended Santa at his North Pole residence.
The charges against him claim that Santa has inspired families to buy or cut down Christmas trees, with the sole purpose of putting presents under them.
Although, the government does admit that the holiday known as Christmas did temporarily prevent the use of the chimney, thereby saving many trees (this is the main entrance for Santa on Christmas Eve).
The overall effect is mitigated by the millions of trees killed, decorated and disposed of each year.
The government commented that Santa is a co-conspirator and that a warrant has been issued for one Jesus of Nazareth (the reason for the season). It is stated that this other wanted person apparently left town some time ago [whereabouts unknown] with no idea of when he might return.
Sources further claim that Santa has not hired a lawyer yet, but during processing at a federal prison, Santa was found to have a bag of coal. This didn't bother the federal agents till it was found that the names of all elected officials in government were on each piece of coal.
Failing to prove invasion of privacy by St. Nick, the feds charged him with violation of pollution standards for improperly storing the coal in violation of E.P.A. standards.
Prosecutors were said to be trying to work a deal, suggesting that if Santa could help with the passing of healthcare reform for the President, the charges could be dropped.
Sources are reported to say that the only response was HO, HO, HELL NO!
1 comments:
Don't forget he is a horrible influence on young children because he is considered "Obese". he probably doesn't have a qualified healthcare plan and will be fined in his taxes next year.
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